blogging

Searching for My Stride

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Forget about having an identity crises and get some identity capital.
Do something that adds value to who you are.
Do something that’s an investment in who you might be next.
– Meg Jay

I’ve been absent. Not just from my blog but from my WordPress Reader, my computer, and the world wide web in general. I had that “too much” feeling. So I did what I do instinctively: I backed off. I took a break. I needed to look at my life from a different perspective. I don’t like admitting that I feel overwhelmed. To me, it means I didn’t plan well enough or research enough before I started. It means I admit to being in over my head. And to admit that offends my pride. Deeply.

Maybe I got tired of taking pictures of my outfits. Maybe I felt like I was letting people down if I didn’t respond to each comment. I’ve broken all the main “rules” of successful blogging. Consistency? Fail. Specific niche? Nope. Quick, thoughtful reply to every comment? Uh uh. Then there are all the lovely awards I’ve been given and have yet to “accept” with a post and my own nominations…

I feel all tangled up in blogginess. In my writing and my life and my house full of extra stuff, I long for simplicity. But simplicity isn’t simple. Perhaps that is an obtuse view. Perhaps I have an overly-romantic view of living a simpler life. And underneath it all is a deeper hunger: to write. To just let the music of my soul pour out into words. That the few people who read this would have a little more sunshine. That the tiny space I’ve cleared in this cold, chaotic universe would hold enough light to warm a heart and start a fire somewhere else.

But something holds me back. I hesitate. I wait.

I do write but I wonder if my Eliza Doolittle literary ways shine through. Though in “real life” I do not have a low class accent, I wonder if my writing does. I’m so often careless and overly wordy. I lack formal education. I lack that sense of confidence that I believe “real” writers have. And yet I keep writing.

I’m so close to something new. Something really exciting. I can feel the heat of it near me. And I have no idea what it is.

I’m not fishing for compliments or “hang in there” sentiments. Sincerely, I’m not. I’m seeking wisdom. Advice. Random words of experience. Blogging is such a different beast. Sometimes, I spend all of my writing time catching up on comments. It overwhelms me. Do you feel this way? Why do you blog? What do you blog about? Do you love writing? How do you get in your writing and keep up with your comments and keep up with your everyday life?

This week, I start training for my first half marathon. From what I understand, it’s a different kind of training. I have to know things about myself and running that I did not really need to know for a 5 or 10K. It is where I am in my life – ready to raise the bar, intimidated by the possibility of failure, and utterly surrendered to the process of growth. I’m searching for my stride…

Thank you. Thank you for stopping by. Thank you so much for reading my words. Thank you for whatever kind thoughts you send my way. Thank you for being a writer. I wish you joy and clarity and love. So much that you have to share it all the time, wherever you go.

Cheers,
G

Keep Writing

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It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
― Confucius

I got another one of those “nudges” again. Like that night at the bar when I felt like I needed to tell that woman she was beautiful… This time it hit me while running. While letting my mind wander in the beauty of the hard work of a good run, it filled my mind and heart. When this happens, I know I have to do it. Whatever it is. Even if I don’t feel qualified or “good enough”. Just gotta shine or I will shrivel up.

Life is too short. So, I here I go…

If you are reading this, there is a very good chance that you are a writer. Almost certainly you are a blogger. For whatever reason, you chose to put your thoughts out there in the wide, wide world. Kudos to you. I’ve only been blogging for a short time. I’m no expert but I know my heart and I’m learning how to be transparent and honest with my work. Sometimes, my honesty is all I have to offer in a post. It’s working so far.

So in all honesty, I encourage you to write. Keep writing. Until your soul feels empty. Until you can’t think another thought. Just don’t fucking give up. Not on writing. If you let it, it can be a constant in your life that helps you find balance. It can help you find a bit of peace in this world of chaos.

In my short existence as a blogger, I’ve already seen others flame out. Don’t let that be you. Write when you don’t feel like it. Write when your heart is breaking. Write when the sun is shining. Just write, dammit. Don’t. Give. Up.

You don’t have to publish all of it. And you don’t have to look up “rules for a successful blog.” Fuck the rules. This is about you and your writing. Your blog. Forget about making money or being famous. Just reach into your life, find that light that burns to put your thoughts into words, and shine. That’s all. It’s that simple.

You might doubt yourself. You might be a little frightened to put yourself out there. Keep writing anyway. Find your courage in the beautiful process of creating and polishing your paragraphs.

If you need someone to tell you to hang in there. I’m right here. Leave me a note here in the comments. I might not respond right away but I will respond.

So dear reader, my fellow traveler along my simplicity quest, thank you for stopping by. Thank you for reading my words and listening to my heart. You are a beautiful part of my life. Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Shine on and KEEP WRITING!

Cheers,
G