Sleepless

A couple of nights ago, I could not sleep. This is very rare for me. I can sleep anywhere, any time. My friends utter words of envy when they hear that I took a short nap in line at an amusement part or in a noisy van full of people. I count it very high among my many blessings.

But this post is not about my sleep habits. It’s about what I do when I can’t sleep…

Because of my rather full days, I’ve not managed to move as quickly as I would like on the packing up process. * I think about it often but all while doing other things.

So, back to my strangely sleepless night. I need to mention here that I was also a bit upset about some other issues. Relationship stuff. Soul-searching stuff. Life stuff… But I wasn’t in the mood to sit down and figure out what to do about all of it. So I did something that has always been soothing for me: I started packing up my stuff.

I went straight for my closet. I ended up with a big, beautiful pile on the floor. My brain and heart found peace as I thought about the things I would “need” over the next year and how wonderful it was not to have to stress over whether or not I should get rid of the shirt I loved but never wore. If I really need to have it again, it will only be as far as my attic.

Then there were the thoughts of all that I would DO with the time I was buying myself by not having to take care of so much crap. Walks outside? Spend more time on my writing and with the marvelous children in my life? Make plans for a date night? As I pondered which skirts to keep, pack up, or give away, I realized something. Once all this stuff is gone from my outer life, I will still have the stuff I need to deal with in my inner life.

The issues that kept me awake that night aren’t going up in the attic or to the local charity thrift store. They stay with me. They are me. And when the stuff is gone, they will still be there. And I’m okay with that.

Maybe by the end of the year, I will have learned how to lighten my load inside too…

Don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted.

 

 

*I realize that packing up my stuff instead of giving it away makes me a big weanie but I’m okay with that.

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